This kind of makes me sound crazy, but today was almost one of the best days of my life.
I have to say, that up to this point in my life, September 14th 2010, May 31st 2012, and July 18th 2014 have been the three best days of my life. Our wedding day was wonderful too, but the gravity of being an eternal family really hits when you have a baby-whether it's your first, second, or third.
I am so happy that Crew came early. I can't imagine these last four weeks without him. And yet today on his due date, I can't help but feel sad. It is the most magical experience when you and your husband get to meet your baby for the first time. I once heard about this lady who is addicted to being pregnant. . . That is not me at all-but that feeling when you know your heart just changed. That your world just got a little bigger. That a piece of heaven is now your responsibility. It's the most indescribable experience. The nurse hands him to you, and suddenly you have no clue what to do, but it doesn't matter, because you start to get lost in the details of this new miracle. The sweet furry hair that still clings to his shoulders. The crease between his eyebrows that makes your heart drop because it looks just like his dad's. The way his lip quivers and your arms instinctively pull him tighter to your chest.
Crew is a whopping 9 lbs 3 oz today. Thank you for coming early! I am learning something new about him every day. He hates to be burped, loves when I sing "Abide With Me", searches for the sounds of his brother and sister, grunts like a maniac, has the sweetest yawn you've ever seen. He is absolutely perfect, even if he is rapidly balding and usually has a milk goatee. Even when it's 3 a.m. and I'm literally pinching myself to stay awake, he's worth it. He's worth that terrible pregnancy. Having heartburn when all you've eaten is bread. Being so tired that you kick a pile of toys together on the floor and wait for your husband to come home to pick them up. Getting so fat that even your maternity pants are tight. The end of pregnancy gets so rough. I think that it's because somewhere in those nine months, you feel like you've lost yourself. You don't recognize your chubby face in pictures, food you used to scarf down make you nauseous. Exercise and your favorite activities make you tired and sweaty just thinking about them. You get so antsy to have your baby so that you can get back to being you. The problem is, that you does not exist, and you will never be that person again. Instead you have this new version of yourself. The mother of three version of yourself. The lady who turns heads as she gets out of her car. . . but the heads are turning because it's like the circus-how many people can really fit in that thing? Crew you are worth it. I may not be who I was before, but now I am your mother, and that is the greatest blessing. And even though today isn't, "the best day of my life". It is a great day. Great because you are here in my arms and we get to have you in our family forever.
